Dear Abby, JW Style

A newly indoctrinated JW sent the following questions to someone in Scotland who can answer questions about God. Forget that whole "faithful and discreet slave" monkey business. She's got a direct line. After each question is her answer. I decided to take a stab at it, too. Why not? My answers are in bold and quotations.


HI Marcus, you asked--“WHAT IF WE ARE NOT BAPTISED IN TIME, AND THE TRIBULATION STRIKES?

No worries, Jehovah can look into a persons heart, he is a God of love and will judge fairly.

"If you buy Brenda's answer, I have some real estate to offload to you before Armageddon. By 'look into a person's heart' what the JWs mean is looking at a person's heart through the WBTS lens. Jehovah needs their glasses, you see."

"ISN'T THERE A CERTAIN AMOUNT OF YEARS THAT HAS TO PASS BEFORE THE END OF THESE DAYS?"

Mmmm not sure what you mean here.

"I'm with Brenda on this one. My aposta-meter must be broken."

"IN YOUR HUMBLE OPINION DO YOU BELIEVE THIS WORLD NOW WILL MAKE IT PAST 2012?"

Things are so bad now that Armageddon could come any day, I wouldn’t be surprised if it came tomorrow, but it could also go on for a number of years yet.

"And I wouldn't be surprised if it was years and years and years and years and years and years and years from now. Be patient, but don't buy any green bananas, its just around the corner!"

"WILL WE STILL HAVE ELECTRONICS IN THE NEW SYSTEM? OR DO WE START FROM COMPLETE SCRATCH?"

Don’t know, bible doesn’t say, that’s one of the things we will just have to wait and see, the bible takes us up to Armageddon, and tells us a few things that will happen in the thousand year reign of Jesus Christ, anything else will be in the ”new scrolls” that will be opened in the new earth.

"Just in case, take a kite, a long piece of string, and a key with you through the great tribulation. In case anyone forgets who that apostate, sinning, satanic Benjamin Franklin was, you could remind them."

"HOUSES, IF EVERYTHING IS DESTROYED HOW WILL WE CLEAN EVERYTHING UP AND FIND A PLACE TO REST?"

Jehovah is almighty, you have no need to worry about these things, he will have a plan for all such matters. Look at how organised the assemblies are, thousands of us meet together and there is no litter, everyone is fed, everything is orderly, so that is how it will be in the new earth.

"You know, I'd at least store away some bathroom tissue. When my friends go clean a new house they're about to rent or buy, they always forget the bathroom tissue. Such a simple thing, yet so easy to forget."

"WHEN ARMAGEDDON ARRIVES, I UNDERSTAND ANIMALS WILL EAT THE CORPS BUT WON'T IT START SMELLING BAD EVERYWHERE?"

Jehovah will not allow stuff like that to happen, think- how did Noah get 2 of each animal into the ark, wild animals became tame obviously and just did as they were told by Noah, Jehovah performs miracles.

"Perfectly logical and legitimate question here. Makes perfect sense to ask that. File this under 'Jehovah will take care of that' which will henceforth be known as RULE 62."

"WON'T IT BE A LITTLE CREEPY WITH DEAD BODIES ALL OVER AND BIRDS EATING THEM UP?"

Jehovah will not allow it to go on and on and bodies lying decaying, it will happen quickly with Jehovah’s power.

"Just look at how quickly this so-called wicked world has ended. Well, going to end, I guess you can say. Well its quick to Jehovah. Thousand years ain't so bad."

"JEHOVAH HAS RESTORED PURE WORSHIP, WHAT EXACTLY IS "PURE WORSHIP" AND HOW DO I KNOW IF I'M DOING JUST THAT?"

Pure worship first came under attack in Eden when Satan successfully influenced Adam and Eve to disobey Jehovah. To this day, Satan has not given up his goal of turning as many as possible away from God.

Under the Messiah’s direction, the good news of the Kingdom has been carried to all the nations, as Jesus foretold. (Matthew 24:14, Mark 13:10) This good news has a powerful effect. “A great crowd, which no man [is] able to number, out of all nations” is submitting to the Messiah by joining the anointed remnant in pure worship. (Revelation 7:9)

Pure worship is serving Jehovah correctly, so that involves firstly 1. having a bible study with one of Jehovah’s Witnesses,2. then applying what you learn to your everyday life, attending meetings, going on field service,3. gradually making your life over to Jehovah’s standards and what he expects of his worshippers.

"Pure worship means doing everything the WBTS tells you to do. Remember, they've got a batphone installed in the Brooklyn headquarters with a direct line to the Big Guy upstairs. Its in the bible. Look it up."

"WILL WE BE PERFECT OR SIILL HAVE SLIGHT IMPERFECTIONS IN THE NEW SYSTEM?"

We will be perfect in mind and body, meaning- we will not get sick, grow old, or die.

"But we could still choose to do our own thing, which means we have imperfect minds, like Adam and Eve had. Remember, they were perfect, but they thought with their imperfect minds, making them imperfect and all their offspring imperfect. But one day, we'll all be perfect in mind and body. Unless our minds trick us into being imperfect. Make sense?"

WILL WE STILL HAVE IMPERFECTIONS LIKE "FALLING OVER A ROCK AND SCRAPING A KNEE" YOU KNOW, LIKE SLIGHT IMPERFECTIONS!

I really don’t know, what I do know is ,feeling pain of some kind is a protection, for instance, if we were peeling potatoes and didn’t feel the knife at all, we would cut our fingers off and not even notice, so pain of some kind is a protection.

"That's a beautiful analogy, Brenda. So all the pain I experienced as a result of growing up a JW was a protection? To answer the question, however, I believe that based on the WT illustrations, there will be far more lions and giraffes to look out for than rocks."

WILL WE BE ABLE TO HEAR JEHOVAH'S VOICE OR SEE JESUS IN THE NEW SYSTEM?

Adam heard Jehovah’s voice when he was perfect, so who knows, we cannot “see Jesus” though, because he is an invisible spirit being.

"I imagine that after a trillion or so years, Jesus may get bored and pop in for a visit. People heard God all the time in biblical times, so its a possibility."

WILL JEHOVAH BE MORE INTERACTIVE WITH US IN PARADISE AS HE WAS IN THE BIBLE TIMES?

I would imagine so, although ruling the earth has been give to Jesus and the 144,000 co rulers for a thousand years.

"God will be vacationing in Boca. Or what will then be known as New Order City."

WHY DID THE BIBLE END AT REVELATIONS, AND WHY DON'T WE HAVE PROPHETS TODAY?

The bible contains all we need to know for now, it tells us all about Jehovah’s purposes and even gives us a glimpse into the new earth, so rev. ended what we need to know.

There is a time for everything, there was a time for prophets and a time of judges and a time for miracles, now is not the time for prophets, Jesus was the last and greatest prophet of God. The bible is God’s message to mankind now.

"The bible ended at Revelation because people ran out of things to say and add to the bible. That's why we have Watchtower magazines as well as a bunch of literature. And Jesus was indeed the last prophet. The guy that wrote Revelation was just having some crazy dreams."

1914 JEHOVAH GAVE JESUS THE ABILITY TO RULE OVER THE MESSIAH KINGDOM, HOW DID WE GET SUCH AN ACCURATE DATE?

After his resurrection in 33 C.E., Jesus told his followers: “All authority has been given me in heaven and on the earth.” (Matthew 28:18) Jesus has long exercised such authority over his anointed servants on earth. (Colossians 1:13) However, the time had not yet come for Jesus to exercise authority as King of God’s Kingdom. Rather, after his ascension he ‘sat at God’s right hand in heaven’ until the time for the establishment of that Kingdom. (Psalm 110:1, 2; Acts 2:34, 35) That time came in 1914, “the time appointed.” (Daniel 11:29) In that year, Jesus was enthroned as reigning King of God’s Kingdom and immediately, as Michael the archangel, he cast Satan out of heaven. (Revelation 11:15; 12:5-9) So since 1914 Jesus has been “standing” as King.—Psalm 2:6.

There are many reasons why we know it was 1914, I will just explain one ok—

Jerusalem will be trampled on by the nations, until the appointed times of the nations are fulfilled.—Luke 21:24.

Jesus spoke of a time during which the leaders of the world would occupy centre stage without interference from God’s Kingdom. Jesus called that period “the appointed times of the nations.” At the end of those “appointed times,” God’s heavenly Kingdom would come to power.

“The appointed times of the nations” began with the destruction of Jerusalem in 607 B.C.E. and those “times” were 2,520 years in length, bringing us to 1914.

--> "Honestly, no witness can explain this without pulling out desk references, cheat sheets, or having on hand ten other witnesses to help explain it because their logic and reasoning is so convoluted. And if Jesus taught us anything, its to be convoluted and confusing with messages, right? Right."


All the best
Brenda XXXXXXX
(XXXXXXX,Scotland)

"All the best
Aposta-Precious JoeJaMax
(The ATL, Peach State)"