Before Satan's internet, there was television

Most shows that were worth watching when I was growing up were off-limits due to their blatant immorality, love of this wicked system of things, and distaste for all things Godly.

For instance, I loved the show "Three's Company" but mom quickly put an end to that saying simply "That show is immoral."

Grandma wouldn't let me watch Sesame Street at her house (too worldly) but Mr. Rogers was okay.

The Waltons were a family favorite and could be watched any time it was on-- excluding the holiday special, of course, when I could only imagine John Boy, Grandpa, and the rest of the gang being destroyed at Armageddon, in which case I wanted John Boy's car and Ike Godsey's store.

The Smurfs were iffy. "Yes, they could be possessed by demons. No, they couldn't. Well, perhaps they could. Well, anyway, you can watch it but when it comes to showing Gargamel practicing demon worship with his magic, you have to change the channel."

The Gummi Bears had my parents in a bit of a quandary.

"You Can't Do That On Television" annoyed my father to the point of near insanity. If he caught us watching it, t.v. was gone for the rest of the day, if not the next. Watching old episodes on Youtube today, I understand why.

G.I. Joe was not okay, but mom tolerated it because it kept me occupied in the morning while she got ready for work.

One time I snuck into another room and watched "Children of the Corn." I thought mom was going to have an aneurysm.

MTV. Well, let's just say my sister was the only one bold enough to go there and she moved out when she was 15. There was the time I showed my JW grandmother the music video of Karma Chamelion with Boy George. When she found out it was a dude wearing all that makeup, the color just drained from her face. A sign of the end of this wicked system, I guess.

Movies were alright, but only G-rated ones of course. My dad once took me and my brother to see "The Boy Who Could Fly" at the theater. I wonder what the elders would've thought about that. Unless you're flying around the world to bury the dead after Armageddon, my guess is flying with supernatural powers is a big No-No.

The evening news was a good thing. Why? Well, listening to Dan Rather and Peter Jennings report on the fulfillment of biblical prophecy was exciting. It meant our deliverance was nigh.

Then there were nature programs on PBS. The entire family would sit down with a bowl of popcorn, cookie sheet of nachos or no-bake cookies while we watched lions rip the guts out of gazelles. Participation was mandatory. We were, however, assured that lions would be tame in the New System.

Can't leave out the home movies. Dad bought a video camera around 1982. It was a huge contraption connected to TWO VCR-sized units that you had to carry in a metal holder, while schlepping the camera on your shoulder. Some evenings, mom and dad would invite other witnesses over and we'd put on "skits" then replay them. Basically, the camera was a diversion. But we loved it as kids and it made a great babysitter. Mom and dad weren't too happy when they found a tape I made holding my baby sister saying "Lesli, we're in heaven. We're in heaven, Lesli..." The hazy effect of being in the clouds was achieved by smearing vaseline on the lens.

Oh to be a JW youth. I wonder what the youth of today are allowed to watch, what with television being a million times more immoral than when I was little.

I'm happy to be free today. I can watch whatever I want, when I want. I can DVR everything from Paula Deen's holiday special to the Holy Rosary with Mother Angelica, which, ironically is a wonderful sleep aid.

I wonder if mom's real reason for hating Three's Company is because it started out with "Come and knock on our door...."